This is my beer page. I like craft beers. My favorite brewer
is Sierra Nevada. Over the past
couple of years though I have discovered Cask Ale, or as some call it Real Ale. The horrible
fact is that this product, because of its sensitivity, is very rare in the
Now I myself am not a professional beer taster, and I feel ill equipped to give a good useful review of beer flavor. However, my years in the Navy has made somewhat of a bar connoisseur. If I have graded your bar, and your wondering how I got the scores I used, refer to the guide below.
Vibe:
5.0 Customers were intelligent, interesting, and friendly. The theme allows for suspension of disbelief, I feel like I just stepped out of the TARDIS in a new place and/or time. Fit, finish, and decorations blended flawlessly with theme and could be appreciated all night by themselves.
4.0 Customers were interesting enough to talk to. This bar has a definite theme, and has put real effort into pulling it off. The fit finish and decoration keeps me involved admiring the atmosphere.
3.0 I had the urge to ignore the other customers. The bar theme was "Bar" executed well. Fit, finish and decoration are about as attractive as a brand new beige Volvo.
2.0 I had the urge to keep an eye on the other customers (And not in a good way) The bar theme was "hole in the wall" executed with perfection. Decoration fit and finish resemble my first apartment as a bachelor.
1.0 I was scared for my life. The bar theme was "hole in the wall" but it was executed poorly. I've seen better fit finish and decoration in an abandoned wrecked single wide.
Quality *Critical item*
5.0 *Stock is perfectly kept* and presented. The right glass for each type of beer. Foam is perfect. Temperature perfect. All serving ware immaculate. Multiple sizes available.
4.0 *Stock is well kept*. Temperature is good. Foam is good. Serving wear is clean. Some presentation options exist.
3.0 *Stock is kept*. Temperature is close. Foam is acceptable. Casks are at the late edge of prime. Serving wear looks as if recently washed. (Water spots)
2.0 *Critical stock not on hand* Stock not kept well. Temperature is somewhere cooler than room temp but nowhere near ideal. Foam looks like beer poured by six year old. Cask ales are definitely past prime. Other beers have lost flavor. Serving wear looks iffy. (Are those water spots? How dirty was that water?) Presentation options exist, mostly because the bar ware doesn’t match.
1.0 *Large portions of stock not on hand* Stock they have on hand has gone WAY past prime. Cask ales taste like water you poured from a boot. Regular beer has flavor that makes you wish it was tasteless. Beer temperature can be read off the thermometer by the door. You wonder how they got that much foam out of flat beer, they must be running sparklers on the normal beer taps. Beer aroma reminds you of road kill. Serving wear is noticeably dirty/is plastic disposable.
Service:
5.0 Server/Bartender: Is very attractive and matches "theme" perfectly. Knows more about beer than you do. Could double for the Flash in a Justice League movie. Bends over backwards so well you think you're being served by an Olympic gymnast or a yoga master. Treats empty drinks like armed grenades.
4.0 Server/Bartender: Looks attractive and has theme attire. Knows as much about beer as you. Could double for the Road Runner in a live action based on Warner Bros. Bends over backwards like a yoga practitioner. Treats empty drinks like a trashcan fire.
3.0 Server/Bartender: Is groomed and dressed in uniform. Knows available product line specifics. Could double in Chariots of Fire. Bends over backwards like a party goer playing limbo. Treats empty drinks like a crying child.
2.0 Server/Bartender: Has enough clothes on (Thankfully). Knows beer is fizzy. Could double for Droopy the Dog. Bends over backwards like an old man with back problems. Treats empty drinks like a crying child that needs the silent treatment.
1.0 Server/Bartender: Looks as if just got out of bed in
some of yesterdays clothes. Not sure if the bar carries beer. Could double for an
Selection: (Bonus points for rare beers or oddities)
5.0
I've died and gone to beer heaven.
50 Plus Taps.
30 Plus Taps and at least 1 cask.
15 Plus Taps and at least 3 casks.
10 Plus Taps and at least 5 casks.
4.0
I'm at the gates to beer heaven.
30 Taps
15 Taps and at least 1 cask.
10 Taps and at least 3 casks.
5 Casks.
3.0
I'm in beer limbo.
15 Taps
10 Taps and at least 1 cask
3 Casks
2.0
I'm in beer purgatory paying for past party fouls.
Bar has taps, (That one has 'Ice' in the name) but they all look and taste the same; if you can call that "taste", I guess air technically has a "taste" too. No craft beer on tap. One or more craft beers in bottle.
1.0
I'm in beer hell.
Bar has NO taps, and NO craft beer in bottles. Beer available in bottles and/or cans has less flavor than most tap water.
Food:
5.0
Oh my God! I thought this was a bar! How many Michelin stars do you have?
4.0
Wow! I can bring my Wife here and get credited with a nice dinner out while I drink my brew!
3.0
This is pretty good. Good selection. Fairly tasty, nothing outstanding or noteworthy but definitely good food.
2.0 Meh; I was hungry, you fixed that without making me gag. But let’s just say I'll make sure I eat first the next time I visit.
1.0
Food is terrible, I couldn't gag it down; Your bar only offers little bags of chips to hungry patrons; You offer no food whatsoever and the hungry patrons have taken to cannibalism, capturing and rotissering the slower weaker patrons in the back.